I attend a weekly local neighbourhood fellowship in a neighbour's house (there are about 6-8 who attend). I am the youngest attendee and have a very youthful outlook on life. The problem is, the whole time I am there is spent talking about everyone's illnesses and this brings me down and I find it depressing being there. Yes, the conversation does get around to the bible, etc, but still most of it is about sickness/death and illness. I feel guilty if I don't go, yet when I'm there I come back depressed. I'm not a doctor and feel I shouldn't have to put up with this kind of talk, but being a christian, I feel I have to sympathise and empathise. I too have my fair share of problems, but wouldn't think to burden anyone. It's like being in an old people's home! The 'leader' of the group phones me to tell me who's got something wrong with them and who is the latest person to have died that she knows. I was wondering if anyone might give their opinion.
An opinion sought please about a bible study group I attend?
You should find a group that preaches life and health, not sickness and death. They are killing you, literally. Depression is a serious thing.
Be nice about how you tell them you do not wish to participate in their group any longer however.
Reply:you have to be stronger my friend, tell them you are here to improve your quality of life and to help others enjoy their life, tell them you want to hear about all the positive things that are going on in their lives, tell them to make an action plan to try and help someone somewhere who is worse off than yourselves, positive thoughts bring positive actions,
God put us on this wonderfull planet to enjoy everything it had to offer, not to mope in self pity,
And dont forget all Christians believe that death is a good thing"its the step to the next stage of life" and should be celebrated,
peace to all who crave it,,
lol
Reply:I think you should take a bit of initiative and try to steer the conversations to something more than illness. Maybe so many people in your group are talking about illness and death is because it genuinely affects them they are lonely and use the group to express themselves. So, make this into an oppurtunity to talk about community and brotherhood. Remember, look upon the problem as an oppurtunity to show your talent and bring forth your creativity. Maybe you will be the leader of the group.
Reply:"To succeed the theologian invades the cradle. In the minds of innocents they plant the seeds of superstition. Save children from the pollution of this horror."- Robert Ingersoll
Reply:Can you attend another group?
I know it could be a disruption in terms of travel but you could perhaps 'find' another activity to do on that night, giving you a genuine reason to attend another group.
Reply:I'd say you differently have a right to live your life without worrying about others you can't help. If that were the case, we would all always be in a state of depression. on the other hand, many people tend to feel better after they express their problems much like you. It's possible you just caught up in it and they think your wonderful just to listen.
Reply:You don't need to go to any bible study group. Most of those people are caught up in scriptures and the scriptures were never meant to be studied mechanically, analyzed or memorized.
Simply read them yourself from time to time and you can be awakened by them. Most of the modern-day churcehs have lost the way and I would never go to one.
Reply:if you're bothering to go to bible study, it must be important to you to seek spiritual fulfilment. Leave the talk of death and misery and find a bible study class that leaves you feeling energised, seeking and asking questions within and with like minded others. Worth the search, I expect.
Reply:IT is not nice that they burden you so greatly. We are to attend to each others needs and requirements not leave young and new in the faith uncatered for and drained.
You must be incredibly polite my friend, stay strong in the Lord, take the innitiative it will work wonders for your spiritual maturity.
Why don't you ask to meet the leader of the group with one or two other members and share your heart.
Emphasise your needs, the bible says to attend to each other, and for the sick, hold hands in prayer, annointing with oil.
Worship should be about praise amd glory to God, as did paul when he was in prison, he did not nurture his depression and stay moody. Lift up your hearts all ye saints as the bible says, it sounds like the periods of mourning should not be private or arranged with those in need and agreement, But also be able to accept death and passing. Ask for less time dwelling on individual negative, or maybe if the leader and two others were sole listeners then when you all meet, he can give much shorter breifings and introductions then your service is full of praise and worship to God, as it should be. But don't neglect your old and infirmed, if they stop this long drawn out, painful mopeing, and change format where the leaders take it all on and bring the people together for lots of praying for the sick and needy, which will then include you and praise singing and delivering in honour respect and thanks to God, that will be better.
I
Reply:Did I tell you I am Bi-polar as a result of war time trauma. The dreams are terrible and the VA gives disgraceful health care, my God the long lines to get your temp taken and they still use rectal thermometers. Standing in line hurts my knee. Just wanted to make you feel at home. Doesn't it make you want to get all grown up, so you to can suffer. Sounds like a depressing group, did you ever think to ask the leader type this question. I doubt they even realize they are dragging each other down right along with you. Stand up and holler where's the joy people, does God love you or what and if He does why do you suppose you all feel so bad, let us pray dear God in heaven please heal these people in mind and body b4 they take me down with them and while I have your attention could you get those political officials to give veterans a little higher quality healthcare.
Reply:Read 'The Way fo the Peaceful Warrior' by Dan Millman.
Reply:hey, don't be too depressed. life is so beautiful. all you have to do is open your eyes, appreciate what you have and love what you hate. :)
Reply:BIBLE FIGHT! http://biblefight.ytmnd.com/
you also need to relax... watch some chick getting blessed by an angry priest
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm...
Reply:raise your hand and bring up a subject that you want to talk about. It is your group to take charge of. The leader brings up sickness because he/she needs to try and at least fill the time with something. I'm sure people in the group would also feel refreshed if other topics were addressed.
Reply:Their probably telling all of this so they can be put on the pray list and she calls and tells you about other people that are sick and that have died so that you can pray for them and their families. Don't feel bad they are just trying to include you in the Bible study group. My church on Wednesday night asks people if they have anybody they would like to put on the pray list, before the service starts. From now on if you know of any one that is sick or whatever talk about them while everybody else is telling their problems.
Reply:The best thing is to talk to the instructor about this. Then the two of you can pray and make a decision what you believe God says is best for you.
You might be there for a reason, or it might be time for you to find another place.
Let God decide through councel.
Reply:More of a social gathering but then again welcome to the human condition.You really don't share of yourself while others do. Obviously they consider you a member in good standing. Isn't that what it's all about? Being there for each other in a time of need seems to be a basic tenent to me even if it's only LISTENING. Picking apart words and phrases to fit whatever view you want or what your group wants seems real superficial to me.
Reply:Have you talked to the leader about this? Obviously we have to face reality, but if the others are all a lot older than you and their talk is getting you down, maybe you should find a different bible study group to attend. Make sure you let your current group know tactfully if you are going to stop attending though.
Reply:You could just quit going as it is depressing to you. That is not what Bible Study is all about. It is ok to fellowship afterwards, but you are together for one thing, they should not push their life on you.
Maybe you could suggest they do their discussions afterwards because it takes precious time from the study. If they start the chatter then just get up and leave. After all, this is how gossip starts....
OR show up LATE...lol....then you can miss out on the chatter.
If you decide to quit, then be honest and tell them if they ask, that you were there to study and learn about the Bible and you feel you are unable to be of use, you feel like it is gossiping, OR you have other things to do that night. THEN look for another group.
Be sweet and carry a big stick...........lol
Reply:I have more than one answer for you on this one!
The first is this:
They are all emotional Vampires %26amp; are feeding off of your young energy, whence the need to keep telling you about their problems.
Second:
You are young %26amp; have a big life-lesson coming up. We don't know the "Where", we don't know the "When", but this group is giving you some tools to prepare for it.
Third:
You are being taught that God Is Love (I myself know that God IS love), but are also being taught that "Religion" is not always loving. It can be very hard work %26amp; often hypocritical. So, you have to choose how to walk your path to God: Do you follow your leader's/neighbour's/parent's religion, or be brave and find your OWN path; with, or without, a formalised religion?
Good luck %26amp; LOTS of love to you!
Reply:I hope you all pray for each others illnesses, otherwise what's the point of the gathering? If you don't, then maybe god has put you there to show them the way. find scripture that talks about praying for the sick (there are plenty) and encourage the others to pray. Step out in faith! And don't be afraid to share what you think, maybe others think the same and it will only take one of you to make a big difference to the way it's going.
Reply:Explain to the leader that you do not want to HEAR anymore about peoples illnesses, deaths etc. MAKING sure she gets the message loud %26amp; clear that is very depressing to you!
ASK her if there is another group that you could attend other than this one.
Reply:join another group, or better still, stop reading that poison nasty cruel book
Reply:Isn't there a youth bible study group you can go to? you may want to ask. I go thru the same thing. I made more friends that are much more older than i am so every time i turn around someone is sick or dead.
Reply:I think that if youre not getting what you want from this group then you should find another one. It sounds harsh but it sounds like the people who attend this group are not on your wavelength and youd have a better experience possibly in a younger environment? Good luck! :O)
Reply:It is often said that facing death makes even the hardest cynic turn religous. but we should not use death to promote god.
The world is full of suffering and we cannot be expected to bear it all, unless you know and care for them they are not your problem. The bible tells us of jesus healing many sick and disabled people but he walked past thousands more. leave the group and seek another.
Reply:I hope you are praying for those sick people when you had to discuss them. There's nothing wrong with you I suppose. When Jesus was here on earth, He cured any sickness He could. Even if it means His disciples would have to leave him alone among those sick.
Try to have a different perspective. Many people working as humanitarians get their happiness from helping others in need. Take mother Theresa.
And most importantly, we should be getting our joy from the presence of the Lord in our life. There is a right time for everything. although there are times for sorrow, it should be shortlived by the joy that comes from God. If you do not grow with the group, yes, try other groups. There should be no guilt there, since you still belong to the body of believers.
Reply:Sounds to me that these people attend because they are lonely and want the company....I would recommend you find another group with younger members so you can have a laugh at the same time as praising god...best wishes xx
Reply:You can either leave the group and attend a different one with younger members or you can try taking some control of the current group.
If you leave, there's nothing wrong with that. The group is not providing what you need. You shouldn't feel guilty because all the other people have something in common which you can't share.
If you decide not to leave try arranging for a different person to lead the group each week. So compile a list of Bible or Christian topics and let each person pick which one they want to discuss. You go first. For example you could kick the session off by reading a section of the Bible, this could be followed by a prompted discussion of its implications for your lives and then you could have a short quiz on the topics discussed followed by a prayer.
This should liven things up a bit and keep people on topic.
Reply:sounds like you are a caring person... stay with the depressed crowd, but also look for a more upbeat group.
Reply:Emancipate yourself from mental slavery
No comments:
Post a Comment